Two Wise Leaders
How did you cultivate your wisdom today? One of my long term clients, Mark Finser, as President & CEO, grew the RSF Social Finance assets to over $120M by 2007 with a focus on putting money to work for a sustainable future. Each decision, whether it was operational or programmatic, staff or board related, was informed by his daily meditation practice and the wise counsel of mentors. Mark used a multi-faceted knowledge to inform his decisions and it showed in the depth of his relationships and the scope of his results.
Wisdom is a multi-faceted knowledge, blending life and work experience with mental clarity, emotional sensing, and intuitive insight. The leaders I’ve been privileged to work with, those who make the biggest difference in their industry or cause, access this blend of knowledge to make smart, sensible, and astute small and large decisions that benefit the immediate and larger world.
Bob, Chief Legal Counsel for a large Federal agency woke at 4am to meditate every day. You knew something was different when you were around him. The first time I heard him speak I was standing at the front of the conference room leading the senior management team through their first exercise of a three day retreat. Each man in the circle introduced himself. Midwy through the circle of introductions, my attention was drawn away by a secretary entering the room with more coffee. As Bob began to speak, the resonance in his voice riveted my attention. The calm centered timber in his voice relaxed everyone in the room while simultaneously waking them up. He spoke without nervousness or push, without hesitation or trying. His inner depths infused his being and radiated into his natural expression. The results were obvious. Throughout the retreat Bob added perspective to limited thinking, came up with the suggestions that blended differing priorities and found new avenues through complex thorny issues. It was a privilege to work with him over several years and help develop strategies for bringing wise leadership to the fore throughout the agency and the law firm he later joined.
What do you do to fill out the dimensionality of your knowledge? How do you cultivate your wisdom? What works?
Karen
Business Coaching: Building the Foundation
These exercises have been developed over many years of working with small business owners, women and men starting businesses and those of you who want to advance in their career. When you tackle them with a fresh set of eyes they may yield some new insight for you as well.
Again and again, I find that starting with “what is so” is the most powerful place to begin. Too often we all focus on what we don’t have, on what isn’t enough, on what we desire or think we need to have a “real” business. We spend our time wishing we had more, were more, had done more. (Anyone of you ever done this? I sure have!) The only problem is that then we feel wobbly, unsure, insufficient to the task, and without a firm place to stand. This is hardly the place to build a successful business!
Instead, let’s get a handle on what’s already in your business by taking an inventory of what you do have in place. When you see clearly how things really are, you can stop diminishing or deluding your self. Both of these really equal confusion! Through calmly and courageously acknowledging things as they are you’ll begin to free yourself from the doubts, anxiety, fears and all the rest. Then? All of our hearts begin to expand with dignity and self-respect.
Are you ready to move ahead with a strong foundation under your feet? Let’s discover what is so in your business and in your life that supports your business.
What is So Inventory Exercise:
Write at least three items under each of the following categories. Add more than the 3 lines if you have more. Ask your colleagues and family for ideas of ‘what is already part of the foundation’ for your business. No modesty! This is the time to be truthful about your talents and skills (whether they are proven or just growing). This is the moment to appreciate yourself, appreciate what is already part of your foundation, and know what you have to build on into this coming year. No one starts with nothing!
What is so concerning these aspects of your business:
- Talents & Skills (we just added this top one thinking about all of you and all your talents!)
- Money
- People
- Systems
- Agreements
- Mission impact
Need a couple of examples to get you started? Here you go:
Talents & Skills – craft skills, uploading, downloading, blogging, contracting, communication with clients, wrangling kids, etc.
Money – receivables (money due to be paid to you), payables (bills due), reserves, debt, capital, contracts, etc.
People – help, lack of help, family, vendors, suppliers, community, media contacts, etc.
Systems – computer, printer, camera, software, lab, time management calendar, etc.
Agreements – client contracts, with yourself or a partner, agreements in some areas but not others, affiliate partners, etc.
Mission impact – your mission or purpose for the business, the number of people who you plan to ‘serve’, satisfied clients, community gifting, your personal intention in building your business, etc.
Let’s devote this week to celebrating all that we already have in place! Can’t wait to hear what you discover.
Normally small business women and men (although this seems more prevalant with women) get so caught up in what they need to do, and criticizing what they haven’t done, that it’s hard to be proactive and not just get swept along in the chaos.
Every month I’ll be sharing new exercises, tips, and insights with all of you to help build your businesses or advance in your career. I am so excited to see you all develop your businesses! Most anything can be accomplished when we join hands and put our minds and hearts to work together.
Warmest regards to you each and all,
Karen
Check out the Next Octave Women’s Leadership Program – a simply delicious retreat in the MOST amazing retreat center on the Hawaiian Island of Molokai. If you want to get really jealous take a look at some of the photos in our photo gallery of previous retreats in California and Mexico on The Wisdom Connection website.
Bitch or Bimbo?
Who is a woman without her feminine wisdom? Either a bitch or a bimbo!
We all know them, whether they are moms, co-workers, or bosses (or some days some aberrant sub personality of our own) it’s obvious which routine they are running – bitch or bimbo. What they have in common is that they generally make life miserable for themselves and for others. Both carry denigrating overtones in the way they speak and act – denigrating to others and to themselves.
What does a bitch spend her time doing? She’s blaming, lashing out, criticizing, dismissing and making others wrong. A bitch can be belligerent, unreasonable, rude, or aggressive.
How about a bimbo? While she might be physically attractive, she makes herself appear helpless, weakly dependent, unintelligent. A bimbo acts like she is unable to act effectively for herself, defenseless and in need of rescue or help.
Do they make an impact? Yes! But, not the kind of contribution that fashions a better world. Can they be leaders? Yes, but it’s not easy to follow them.
Look around you. A woman who is feminine and wise uses the power of her gentleness, the strength of her love, and the clarity of her insight and everyone flourishes. She’s a joy to be around with a lovely ability to discern what really matters.
Marilyn Monroe, in the recent film My Week with Marilyn (worth seeing BTW) is mostly portrayed as a bitch or bimbo. Only the young man sees the wisdom in her complete, right, and beautiful interior. Yet, in his youth, he misses her intelligence and commitment.
Who are the women in film or your life who are wise?
When I look around I notice that the wise women I know ask questions to wake others up to who they are and who they are becoming. They are empowering women leaders. Informed, judicious, prudent, and in-sync with the natural world, they express themselves without a lot of sticky attachment or power-tripping ego.
One wise woman (who constantly reminds me to slow down 🙂 is a teacher to me. Her vast spirit, physical body, emotional sensitivity, and intellectual perspectives all work together in harmony with the rhythms of rising and falling, birthing and dying. She works hard at times and completely relaxes at others. Her joy is contagious. Her sense of integrity springs from her truthfulness, personal honor, and the clear principles by which she lives. Her great sense of compassion touches my heart. I love to be around her!
Two questions:
How would you describe a wise woman in your life? What does she teach you?
Can you be like the young man in the movie and see through the bitch or bimbos in your life into the center of their wisdom? How do you help them cultivate that instead?
Karen
Penetrating the Wall of My Hesitation
Wisdom is a journey, a time where I discover the means to penetrate the wall of my hesitation. Uncertainty makes me waver. My wisdom finds ways through the walls and wobbles by helping me to accept rather than discount my experiences, work through my feelings rather than running from them. Without my wisdom I don’t know where to start. My wise center is a guide to a path I didn’t know existed.
I forget to be faint-hearted when I cultivate my wisdom. Shyness or timidity used to shackle my ankles, making it tough to take the risk and step into what I most wanted to do or even say “I’d really like that and I’d like it that way.” Centered in my WiseCore I simply act, I clearly speak, in connection with those I’m speaking to and the aliveness of their own journey into wisdom.
My willingness and ability to act on that which matters the most to me grows. This is leadership. When I cultivate my WiseCore first, authentic communications become the hallmark of the way I lead.
Where does your wisdom bring you?
Peggy Reskin graduated from the Wisdom Connection Next Octave Women’s Leadership Program. One day, I asked her what happens when she is in her wisdom. She said, “Once on this wisdom road, I’m more me and yet it isn’t about me. It is about what needs attention, where some healing might be needed. It’s about sharing the joy and the privilege of being alive.”
Karen
The Wise Leader
The Wise Leader This article published in the Harvard Business Review points to the limits of the knowledge pool we normally draw upon in making daily decisions. Do you agree with their conclusions? Or do you define a wise leader differently for yourself?
“Why doesn’t knowledge result in wise leadership? The problem, we find, is twofold. Many leaders use knowledge improperly, and most don’t cultivate the right kinds.” The Big Idea: The Wise Leader published in Harvard Business Review by Ikujiro Nonaka and Hirotaka Takeuchi
Business Coaching: Setting your Goal for the Year
P.S. If you want a thinking partner or business coach to help you focus your goal give us a call for a free session
Business Coaching: What is Possible this Year?
Would you like to discover your desires and what is possible for 2012? This is the first of a series of business coaching blogs. Take 5 minutes and journal to this question: “If you woke up tomorrow morning and your work day was 100% improved, what would be different? How would you know it was 100% improved? What would your day feel, taste, look like, smell, sound like? What would be your rhythm or pace?”
When I tried this out over the holiday break, I discovered that I really like writing in the mornings. My work day would be 100% improved if I blocked off 3 mornings a week to write!
Identify an action or two that come out of your reflections and specify when you will take that action.
I’ll start this week!
BTW: We offer personalized coaching designed specifically for you – because we want to help you expand your capacity to accomplish what matters most to you! Learn more and Contact us today for your free consultation.
Pure Joy
This morning I saw an auspicious sign for the new year. As I write, I gaze out the window, engaged with the liveliness of my wild garden. Up the street, beyond the tall hedges, oaks, and cypress, a tall redwood towers.
Just after dawn, a large white bird flew through the tree tops to the grand redwood. My fingers left the keyboard as her claws gripped the tippy top and she opened her wings into the wind. It looked like she’d get blown off.
Dancing, ducking, swaying she meets the wind, wings wide, beak open with what looks like pure joy. She is gorgeous! 30 minutes later she’s still there when I need to tear myself away.
A lot has been written on 2012 – omens of disaster and significant, fast paced changes. I’m reminded of a time many years ago when I was afraid about the impending birth of one of my children. A wise woman told me that while I couldn’t control what would ultimately happen, I could meet the situation with a full and open heart.
May we meet the winds with joy in 2012 and find many moments of heartfelt happiness in this new year.
Many blessings,
Karen
More Wisdom More Fun
My Wise Self shuts down when I am in a complaining mode. It’s like I drop into the zone between cell towers and communication with the small sweet voice inside stops. It’s not much fun. Once I noticed this, I got to wondering – if complaint deactivates, what activates the Wise Self?
According to researchers a 3:1 ratio tips the scales. That’s 3 positive thoughts to every negative thought! How about over the past 24 hours? How often did you feel amused, awe, grateful, hopeful, inspired, or serene? How often did your thoughts run along the lines of angry, ashamed, contemptuous, disgusted, guilty, or scared?
We choose. Downward spirals are fueled by negativity. We feel burdened, powerless, even lifeless. Our immune systems are depressed. Upward spirals are energized by positivity. We feel uplifted, alive and far more capable of creating a future we really want. We greet change with a sense of adventure. Igniting our passion, we make the difference we want to make.
Our wisdom flourishes when we look for what IS working and amplify it. Positive emotions produce success and health. We fashion more accurate mental maps of the world. More wisdom equals more fun!
If you are interested in learning more – take a look at the book Positivity by Professor Barbara L. Fredrickson. Her research shows that positivity is key to building new skills, new ties, new knowledge, and new ways of being.
I love life. There is always goodness happening, always opportunities, always new intriguing people to meet.
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I will meet you there.” Rumi
Here’s to flourishing wisdom in 2012!
Karen
P.S. If you want to compute your positivity ratio check out www.positivityratio.com
Turning Point
This is hard to admit, but every now and then I slide into a familiar, yet dismal, groove of “I’m not enough.” Like the angst of teen-aged years, I feel confused and inept. It’s not much fun. The good news is I don’t stay there long. Usually I pretty quickly slide back into a groove of enthusiasm and intention.
But not that day. 6:30am is early to start moving. But, it’s heavenly in the dark silent room with dozens of women and men moving through the Ashtanga Yoga routine. The only sound is deep Ujjayi breath*. Usually I relax into the gentle flow and spaciousness of each breath. Sometimes, to tell the truth, my mind runs round the hamster wheel of worry or planning during my 90 minute practice. Two weeks ago my mind was on a rampage.
Mad, determined, sad, my feelings finally slid into downright pathetic – full of pity for myself. There I was, aligning my movement and breath into a supposedly dynamic flow. Breathing deeply, arms above my head, plank, down to the floor, up-dog, down-dog, through the vinyasa flow into pose, transition, pose.
Stuck and unseeing, I moved like a robot, clunky and disconnected. Round and round the wheel of feeling. Arms up, arms down, one pose after another, with variation after variation of “Oh woe is me.” I had no idea there was so much to complain about, but that day I dredged it all up one after another!
Finally….I noticed. “I am repeating a really old mind pattern of not enough.” My breath changed. I emerged from reaction to name my feelings. As if I was holding a young child with a bad ‘owie’, I softened my heart. Tension eased as I sent warm love throughout my body. I realized I have a choice. Once again. To focus on the small tight circle of my fears or rest in the larger circle of my wholeness.
For some reason, this particular day, this moment, this choice felt like a Turning Point – one of those forks in the road. I finished my yoga routine with a sense of peace.
I could smile again. My heart softened and the voice of my inner wisdom returned.
What were your 2011 Turning Points? Celebrate them!
May you find many roads into your wisdom in 2012. Karen
*Ujjayi breath is a full breath which first fills the lower belly, rises to the lower rib cage, and finally moves into the upper chest and throat with a sound in the back of the throat while moving through asanas – physical or sitting poses. It’s sometimes called the “Ocean breath”.
Karen Wilhelm Buckley 