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Step Two – Value

March 25, 2012

My Wise Self seemed to be out to lunch. I walked my dog, hunting for a new point of view. With no idea of my angst, he was ecstatic. As he frolicked. I stewed. Irritated with the way I handled a difficult client communication, I wanted to clean up the relationship mess I’d made, but I couldn’t stop thinking how I was right and she was wrong.

My Reactive Self ruled for a few more minutes until I asked “what else is true?”

I had to admit my client was speaking from her truth. I just didn’t like it.

I asked again, “What else is true?” A new feeling rose in me, I felt afraid for her employee who suffered under her biting sarcasm.. “What else is true?” Her observation about a problem that stemmed from another team member. That part of what she said included a really useful insight.

Beginning to value her wisdom, I saw her in a different light. If wisdom is an expression of our inherent wholeness, I could let her be all of who she is – wise and unwise, insightful and challenging. Now I knew we could speak honestly and that I could share how much I care. Now I could ask her if she would like to hear a bit of my own wisdom about her style and the problems it causes.

Again, I learned that, wherever we direct our attention, that part of our awareness grows in size and weight until it becomes the biggest, most tangible, seemingly real point of view.  I had a choice to put my focus on “I was right” or on “she delivered her point in an unkind way.” The first unwise possibility led to all kinds of potentially nasty consequences. The second wiser option led to a possibility of new levels of working together.

It’s up to us to Value wisdom when we see it, feel it, and say it. Here is Step Two – highlighting a couple of ways that have been shown to work on the path to respecting and intensifying wisdom:

  1. Highlight what happens – what results from wise choices vs unwise choices? Assess: the value to you when a friend, spouse, or neighbor acts wisely. Why does it matter if they act out of a small fearful unwise reactionary self? Why does it matter when they speak from their broader clear-seeing Wise Self?
  2. Cherish the difference. Use your senses to evaluate what changes – how does it look, feel, or sound when you are wise?
  3. When you are blessed to work with a wise leader tell them how they make a different kind of difference.

Wisdom matters. invite your Wise Self to lunch. Appreciate the treasures revealed by wisdom – the nuggets of golden compassion, crystalline insight, or vast perspective and life changes. It’s available to all of us. Now.

“Wisdom is available to us all. Knowing this helps to cut through our habitual negative opinions about our selves as being somehow imperfect, or not of the same quality, capacity or potential as some great sage. We tend to feel that somehow their minds are intrinsically different, more powerful, more pure, more capable than our own.” Ajahn Amaro, Buddhist Monk

To Learn more about Step One go to:



What is possible?

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